Grateful
by bcunningham1989
Summary: Lizzie Bennet Diaries: Before their tour of the city, Lizzie wants to talk to Darcy about Gigi's recent confession in episode 82.


Lizzie fidgeted nervously by the door, ready too early with too little time to engage in anything but waiting. She looked forward to today with a mixture of excitement and nervous anticipation. It's true that she and Darcy had managed to be quite cordial since her arrival at Pemberley Digital, and costume theater had given her even more freedom around him, despite the slight unnerving, fluttering in her stomach she felt in the brief moment of sincerity when Darcy removed his hat and told her to "ask him." At that point, his deep brown eyes sort of made her head go fuzzy, and she briefly forgot about whom they were speaking. But surely the growing amicability between them would be dashed by her latest video.

Regardless of her airing of Wickam's behavior as stated in Darcy's letter, she had never even hinted at the situation with Gigi. Not only was that something for which she would have to have Gigi's permission, but it was also something for which she felt she would need Darcy's permission. Although she was hesitant to say it after all of her previous assumptions, in this matter, if only in this matter, she felt she really understood Darcy. Obviously, she knew what it was like to have a somewhat naive, impetuous little sister who did things despite or even because of her older sibling's disapproval. She also knew what it was like to love that sister and want, more than anything, to protect and shield her from the realities of the world. The only difference was, Darcy had the means, stature, and credibility to successfully help his sister, even after making the mistake of not confiding in her. Lizzie doubted she would ever be able to wield that kind of power.

And now, Gigi and Darcy were coming to give her a tour of the city, and she had just exposed his sister's actions, and his, to the world. She desperately wished she didn't have to hurt Darcy this way. Hadn't she done that enough? However, if given the opportunity to do it over again, she would have done the same thing. Whatever she owed to Darcy, she also felt like she owed Gigi. Gigi, who, notwithstanding the fact that she abominably abused her brother in her videos, had taken her in with open arms at Pemberley, helped ease her relationship with Darcy, and who's charming nature could not help but make her feel a sisterly affection.

Again, reluctantly, she felt she understood something more about Darcy. She understood being sorry for causing pain, but not apologetic for the action that caused it. She couldn't completely forgive what he had done to Jane, but she could understand why he thought it was right. It made her feel rather disloyal to her sister, but she couldn't help it. After all, Bing could make his own decisions like an adult instead of having Darcy look out for him. Darcy, always looking out for everybody. But could she make him understand that truth about her own actions? Would he even come today after seeing the video?

That was it. If he did decide to come today, she would have to clear the air. She quickly texted Gigi.

**Lizzie:** Is your brother still coming after the video?

**Gigi:** Of Course! :D

**Lizzie:** Could I maybe talk to him a minute before we set out to sort of apologize? :/

**Gigi:** Unnecessary, but sure. I'll go to the bathroom or something.

**Lizzie:** Thanks :)

**Gigi:** No probs

About five minutes later, there was a knock at the door. She answered.

"Hi guys!" she said with a bright smile. Her heart skipped a beat at seeing Darcy in her doorway. She chalked it up to being glad he came despite her video and nervous about her coming tete-a-tete. It was hard not to look him. He was so tall that he formed quite an imposing figure in the early morning light.

"Hi Lizzie," said Gigi.

"Good morning, Lizzie," said Darcy, "Are you ready to set out?"

"Um, yeah, I..."

"Wait, William. Lizzie, do you mind if I use your bathroom?"

"No, of course not, go ahead."

Darcy stared at Gigi with mixed disapproval and amusement. Lizzie wondered when she began to be able to read Darcy's expressions with accuracy. Doubtless he had lectured Gigi on not turning this trip into another plot, and doubtless he thought that was exactly what she was doing. Little did he know that this plot was Lizzie's.

"Don't blame Gigi," she said, "I actually wanted to talk to you for a minute." He looked at her with a somewhat pained look that Lizzie now knew was pleasure and confusion.

"About my last video," she said. He looked down and back up to her in that way he does when he is thinking about what to say.

"What about it?" he finally asked.

"Gigi deserves to be able to tell her story if she wants to."

"Yes?"

"Yes, and, I owe it to your sister to let her."

He nodded.

"But..." Lizzie paused.

"But...?" Darcy questioned.

"But, I do really, sincerely want to apologize if it made you uncomfortable at all. I understand how much you care for her, and I promise I only did it with the best of intentions. I hope you are not too disappointed."

Lizzie looked up at him, anxiously awaiting his response.

"Lizzie," he paused and half smiled in amusement, "how could I be disappointed? She was able to confide in you, and you were able to comfort her. It doesn't matter how much I care about her. I may be able to write checks, but I could never be that to her."

He hesitated a moment, then, in a motion as awkward as her almost involuntary arm touch when she first saw him at Pemberley, he gently squeezed her hand. Then, looking at her with those dizzying dark eyes said, "I'm not disappointed. I'm grateful."

After overcoming the initial jolt of electricity that caused her to go somewhat weak at the knees at his touch (again, just the nervousness of so awkward an encounter) Lizzie squeezed his hand back and looked up at him. She had to tilt her head back at an alarming angle. He was so tall.

"You know you did more than write a check. You were really able to take care of her. She's grateful, and she really loves you."

Her last sentence hung in the air just as their hands did. It was a long 10 seconds before Gigi stepped out of the bathroom.

"Ok, are we ready?" she said.

They dropped hands quickly and Lizzie couldn't keep the smile of nervous adrenaline off her face.

"Uh, yeah, let's go," she said.

Darcy held the door open for them, and they walked out to begin their tour of the city.


End file.
